Friday, May 2, 2014


What does the word Mom mean to you? If I was a greeting card company the answer would probably be something like: Gracious, loving, perfect, in need of constant chocolate and wine, and your best friend. For me it means a myriad of emotions. My Mama and I did not get along when I was a teen. Our personalities did NOT mesh and often resulted in loud fights. Fights in which I shouted nonsensical things "If you loved me you'd buy me a puppy/not make me clean my room/let me shout some more." and she struggled to not yell at me. Of course, there were other reasons our relationship was sour, but the past is in the past. As I've gotten older, we've begun to get along I know she doesn't understand everything I do and vice-versa, but I know she always supports me.

My Mama and I. Ignore the goofy hand... I never know how to place them when posing for photos... Haha

It's been an interesting transition to being a Mom myself. I'm still struggling with realizing that I'm that person for my kids. You know- the one who knows EVERYTHING, who can solve any problem, who's done it all, and knows how to keep a home in perfect order... Oh, who am I kidding? Lets just say the person who can pull off a semblance of those things. I mean, I'm in my upper 20's and I'm *still* figuring out that my Mom doesn't always have the answers. Every day I attempt to teach myself to be that. I will never be perfect, but I can show my children that I tried.

Things I repeat to myself daily:

-Don't yell. Yelling never helped anything, talking forcefully and quietly is much more likely to get through.
-Always try to figure out why my child is saying no. Remind myself that there's almost always a reason and it's better to help the child identify what it is than to escalate it into a full on fight (and yes, those reasons are often "I wanted the purple and yellow sock, not the yellow with purple sock" but it's still a reason and important to them)
-Let my kids help with the chores. They get to spend time with Mommy and enjoy the feeling of accomplishment that comes from work (age appropriate chores, obviously. Never let the 2 year old put away knives... now, folding socks? Totally appropriate, and it usually helps him improve his throwing arm.)
-Take them to the park. Show that your willing to play with them but that you're more than happy to step back and let them play with new friends.
-Foster imaginations. If BooBoo decides he's a pirate and will only respond to the name Jake, become Captain Hook. If he decides he's a bear, be a MaMa Bear. 
-Most of all: Be the shoulder they can cry on, the person who'll always laugh at their jokes, and make sure that while you might be disappointed in their decisions, you still love them- FIERCELY.

I love my children and I will always try to be THAT Mom for them. That doesn't mean I'm losing myself, it just means that I'm becoming a more defined me. And I love that. 

Thank you, Mom. For everything. The books, the talks, the cooking, the cleaning (no matter how forced), the games. Even the fights. I'm who I am today because of you and I wouldn't trade that for the world.

No comments:

Post a Comment